Coming back from the most marvellous, restful week of leave, I opened my emails to see a slew of coaching enquiries from people who are stuck in blame and shame for patterns that keep repeating themselves in their lives. “What am I doing wrong?” said one person. Why can’t I get people to stay in my life? Why do I keep having the same problems at work? What have I done wrong? Why am I so useless, pathetic….the blame game was strong. Here’s the thing, if you stay stuck in the why, what and how, you turn up the sound on your inner judge who is loud and relentless and works 24/7, and can drown out your higher self who is gentle and compassionate and forgiving. It’s like focussing on how you had the car accident instead of healing broken bones. Healing can only begin when you allow yourself to feel compassion for yourself, and stop blaming yourself.
Coaching is a beautiful gift to self. It’s the beginning of a process that says, I may be here in the dark now, but I want to walk in the light. I said at the start of this year that 2021 would be full of flowers because in 2021 I am going to plant flowers. I’m not going to blame myself for my garden falling to weeds, I’m going to clean it out and make it beautiful.
